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#1: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-19 21:33:10 by Sir Benjamin Nunn

FFS. Severed Ligaments.

I spent my morning in A & E, and my afternoon in the pub, with people being
nice to me.

Will be on crutches for a while. Several days off work. High levels of
agony, given my already-high pain threshold. Codeine painkillers'n'shit.

I'm not even sure how it happened. I kind of vaguely bumped my foot against
my bedpost in the middle of the night on Monday. Yesterday it hurt a little
bit, I suppose, but improved throughout the day, and I walked a couple of
miles on it, and used my aerobic machine.

This morning, woke up uncharacteristically at 5:30 in absolute fucking
torture. Unable to walk between rooms without holding onto walls and sitting
down immediately. I don't go to hospital lightly - and indeed still went
into work first to gauge opinions - but this was one occasion when I
couldn't not seek medical attention.

I got a train back to London because I'm not exactly going back to work this
week, and need to be there for the weekend. A disappointing comment on human
nature that between Ipswich and Colchester, on a packed train, no fucker got
up to offer me a seat, not even the sales tossers with their laptops in the
'please give this seat up to a disabled cunt' seats. Cunts.

On the plus side, the wait time at Ipswich A & E was fucking nothing. No
queue at reception, I barely had time to watch 10 minutes of Trisha before
seeing the Triage Nurse, and then only about 20 minutes before the doctor
called me. I guess 9:30 AM is a good time to go to hospital.

Also, the staff in the Tooting Wetherspoons brought me drinks to my seat so
I wouldn't have to get up, while I was waiting for my mum to pick me up. And
one of the bar staff and one of the customers (both of whom I know vaguely
at best) were downright flirtacious. Hmm.

That is all.

BTN

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#2: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-19 21:45:22 by comps

According to &lt;<a href="mailto:bennunn&#64;depro.co.uk" target="_blank">bennunn&#64;depro.co.uk</a>&gt;:
&gt;up to offer me a seat, not even the sales tossers with their laptops in the
&gt;'please give this seat up to a disabled cunt' seats. Cunts.

Did you ask them? Maybe they were busy reading UKSF
--

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#3: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-19 22:08:02 by Sir Benjamin Nunn

&quot;Vicky Conlan&quot; &lt;<a href="mailto:comps&#64;riffraff.plig.net" target="_blank">comps&#64;riffraff.plig.net</a>&gt; wrote in message
news:e9m24i$1oe4$<a href="mailto:1&#64;magenta.plig.net..." target="_blank">1&#64;magenta.plig.net...</a>
&gt; According to &lt;<a href="mailto:bennunn&#64;depro.co.uk" target="_blank">bennunn&#64;depro.co.uk</a>&gt;:
&gt;&gt;up to offer me a seat, not even the sales tossers with their laptops in
&gt;&gt;the
&gt;&gt;'please give this seat up to a disabled cunt' seats. Cunts.
&gt;
&gt; Did you ask them? Maybe they were busy reading UKSF


They were all reading the 'How Fucked Up are you' thread, yes.

BTN

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#4: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 00:15:29 by Kullrad

Sir Benjamin Nunn tickled their tummies and meowed:

&gt;&gt; Did you ask them? Maybe they were busy reading UKSF
&gt;
&gt; They were all reading the 'How Fucked Up are you' thread, yes.

Is that still going?

--
Kullrad (4)
UKSF Best New Poster 2003

&quot;Surely Kully is as offensive an individual as has ever posted
regularly on uksf?.&quot; - Chopsy.

Winamp is sleeping: (Poor little bugger is all tired)

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#5: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 00:34:17 by comps

According to &lt;<a href="mailto:kullradNOSPAM&#64;hotpop.com" target="_blank">kullradNOSPAM&#64;hotpop.com</a>&gt;:
&gt;&gt; They were all reading the 'How Fucked Up are you' thread, yes.
&gt;Is that still going?

No.
--

Report this message

#6: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 01:33:47 by Osbourne Ruddock

&quot;Sir Benjamin Nunn&quot; &lt;<a href="mailto:bennunn&#64;depro.co.uk" target="_blank">bennunn&#64;depro.co.uk</a>&gt; wrote in
news:<a href="mailto:4i7fnkF2h9bgU1&#64;individual.net" target="_blank">4i7fnkF2h9bgU1&#64;individual.net</a>:

&gt; FFS. Severed Ligaments.
&gt;
&gt; I spent my morning in A &amp; E, and my afternoon in the pub, with people
&gt; being nice to me.
&gt;
&gt; Will be on crutches for a while. Several days off work. High levels of
&gt; agony, given my already-high pain threshold. Codeine
&gt; painkillers'n'shit.

Monged feet and legs are the in thing in UKSF this year Ben.

Congrat's for coming on board.


--

Cheers, Os

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#7: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 05:15:18 by Dat

On Wed, 19 Jul 2006 20:33:10 +0100, &quot;Sir Benjamin Nunn&quot;
&lt;<a href="mailto:bennunn&#64;depro.co.uk" target="_blank">bennunn&#64;depro.co.uk</a>&gt; wrote:

&gt;FFS. Severed Ligaments.

&lt;snip tale of disabled man almost scoring&gt;

Bad luck, Ben. What doesn't kill you may have a second go if you don't
get it first, or something.

Looking to the positives though - I anticipate an influx of fresh
young lurkers jumping in and killing threads; forcing crossposters
onto their weaker feet; barking instructions like Sgt Hartman from
'Full Metal Jacket' to each other about holding the line, picking up
that loose man, and all that other mystical speak that those at the
back employ; causing untold damage to aggressors' ankles by way of
warning; and ensuring that Os is protected from even the least harmful
post as they put on a display of unparalleled defensive duties in the
clamour to give themselves every chance of being the one...that
special one to fill your vacant shorts at the back, just in case your
recuperation at the pub fails to have you back to full match fitness
before the next match.

It's going to be a bloodbath.


--
Dat

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#8: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 10:38:09 by comps

According to &lt;<a href="mailto:strikeboy&#64;hotmail.com" target="_blank">strikeboy&#64;hotmail.com</a>&gt;:
&gt;Monged feet and legs are the in thing in UKSF this year Ben.

It's my neck/shoulder that is monged again this year.

&gt;Congrat's for coming on board.

I'm so 2004. :-&lt;

--

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#9: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 10:38:26 by comps

According to &lt;<a href="mailto:dat_004&#64;yahoo.co.uk" target="_blank">dat_004&#64;yahoo.co.uk</a>&gt;:
&gt;&gt;FFS. Severed Ligaments.
&gt;&lt;snip tale of disabled man almost scoring&gt;

Heh. This is /Ben/ we're talking about.
--

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#10: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 11:35:18 by Martin G Bridges

In article &lt;<a href="mailto:Xns980675A05C193strikeboyhotmailcom&#64;130.133.1.4" target="_blank">Xns980675A05C193strikeboyhotmailcom&#64;130.133.1.4</a>&gt;,
<a href="mailto:strikeboy&#64;hotmail.com" target="_blank">strikeboy&#64;hotmail.com</a> says...
&gt; &quot;Sir Benjamin Nunn&quot; &lt;<a href="mailto:bennunn&#64;depro.co.uk" target="_blank">bennunn&#64;depro.co.uk</a>&gt; wrote in
&gt; news:<a href="mailto:4i7fnkF2h9bgU1&#64;individual.net" target="_blank">4i7fnkF2h9bgU1&#64;individual.net</a>:
&gt;
&gt; &gt; FFS. Severed Ligaments.
&gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; Will be on crutches for a while. Several days off work. High levels of
&gt; &gt; agony, given my already-high pain threshold. Codeine
&gt; &gt; painkillers'n'shit.
&gt;
&gt; Monged feet and legs are the in thing in UKSF this year Ben.
&gt;
I think I've monged my kidneys. Can't think of any other reason for the
shooting pains in my lower back.

Anyone got a spare?

M

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#11: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 11:47:59 by Kullrad

Whilst being taken roughly from behind, Vicky Conlan squealed:

&gt;&gt;&gt; They were all reading the 'How Fucked Up are you' thread, yes.
&gt;&gt;Is that still going?
&gt;
&gt; No.

Thank fuck for that.

--
Kullrad (4)
UKSF Best New Poster 2003

&quot;Er, I think you'll find it's the Year of the Brummiecunt this time.
Yam Ki Pa Tai.&quot; - Joe Horowitz

Winamp is spewing forth: Lostprophets - Can't Catch Tomorrow (Good Shoes
Won't Save You This Time)

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#12: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 11:49:21 by Kullrad

Whilst being taken roughly from behind, Osbourne Ruddock squealed:

&gt; Monged feet and legs are the in thing in UKSF this year Ben.

Yeah, I nearly busted my toe playing 5-a-side a few weeks back.

I'm so 'with it' as the kids these days say.

--
Kullrad (4)
UKSF Best New Poster 2003

&quot;Er, I think you'll find it's the Year of the Brummiecunt this time.
Yam Ki Pa Tai.&quot; - Joe Horowitz

Winamp is spewing forth: Lostprophets - Can't Catch Tomorrow (Good Shoes
Won't Save You This Time)

Report this message

#13: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 11:51:18 by comps

According to &lt;<a href="mailto:news&#64;mandab.co.uk" target="_blank">news&#64;mandab.co.uk</a>&gt;:
&gt;&gt; Monged feet and legs are the in thing in UKSF this year Ben.
&gt;&gt;
&gt;I think I've monged my kidneys. Can't think of any other reason for the
&gt;shooting pains in my lower back.

I get them. I think it's strained muscles. Either that or you just
need a huuuuge poo. Try drinking the juice of half a lemon in a pint
of lukewarm water first thing tomorrow morning and see if that helps.
In theory it's meant to be liver/kidney cleaning fluid. Whether it is
psychosematic or not, it does tend to make me feel better when I do it.
I ought to do it more often.

&gt;Anyone got a spare?

Apparently not.

--

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#14: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 11:54:07 by Kullrad

Whilst being taken roughly from behind, Vicky Conlan squealed:

&gt;&gt;Anyone got a spare?
&gt;
&gt; Apparently not.

*Everyones* got a spare kidney.

Unless, they haven't, obviously.

--
Kullrad (4)
UKSF Best New Poster 2003

&quot;Er, I think you'll find it's the Year of the Brummiecunt this time.
Yam Ki Pa Tai.&quot; - Joe Horowitz

Winamp is spewing forth: Lostprophets - Everybody's Screaming!!!

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#15: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 11:55:04 by comps

According to &lt;<a href="mailto:kullradNOSPAM&#64;kullrad.com" target="_blank">kullradNOSPAM&#64;kullrad.com</a>&gt;:
&gt;&gt;&gt;Anyone got a spare?
&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt; Apparently not.
&gt;
&gt;*Everyones* got a spare kidney.
&gt;
&gt;Unless, they haven't, obviously.

I think mine got steaked.

--

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#16: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 11:56:15 by roondog

&quot;Kullrad&quot; &lt;<a href="mailto:kullradNOSPAM&#64;kullrad.com" target="_blank">kullradNOSPAM&#64;kullrad.com</a>&gt; wrote in message
news:<a href="mailto:Xns98066E18ACB9C192137&#64;130.133.1.18..." target="_blank">Xns98066E18ACB9C192137&#64;130.133.1.18...</a>
&gt; Whilst being taken roughly from behind, Osbourne Ruddock squealed:
&gt;
&gt; &gt; Monged feet and legs are the in thing in UKSF this year Ben.
&gt;
&gt; Yeah, I nearly busted my toe playing 5-a-side a few weeks back.
&gt;
&gt; I'm so 'with it' as the kids these days say.
&gt;
I have a few bruised metertarsals from crunching challenges in pre-season
training. Still waiting for the sun to print some diagrams of it like they
did for my namesake.

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#17: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 11:56:22 by Kullrad

Whilst being taken roughly from behind, Vicky Conlan squealed:

&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;Anyone got a spare?
&gt;&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt;&gt; Apparently not.
&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt;*Everyones* got a spare kidney.
&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt;Unless, they haven't, obviously.
&gt;
&gt; I think mine got steaked.

Did it hurt?

--
Kullrad (4)
UKSF Best New Poster 2003

&quot;Er, I think you'll find it's the Year of the Brummiecunt this time.
Yam Ki Pa Tai.&quot; - Joe Horowitz

Winamp is spewing forth: Lostprophets - Broken Hearts, Torn Up Letters And
The Story Of A Lonely Girl

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#18: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 12:00:02 by unknown

Post removed (X-No-Archive: yes)

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#19: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 12:05:15 by Kullrad

Whilst being taken roughly from behind, Demosthenes squealed:

&gt;&gt;Monged feet and legs are the in thing in UKSF this year Ben.
&gt;
&gt; I'm as healthy as a fucking horse. Except for the mental scars left by
&gt; a certain exgf. Do those count?

FFS, Dem. It's time to move on, let go, etc.

It's not like she fucked off with you best mate, is it?

Cunts.

--
Kullrad (4)
UKSF Best New Poster 2003

&quot;Er, I think you'll find it's the Year of the Brummiecunt this time.
Yam Ki Pa Tai.&quot; - Joe Horowitz

Winamp is spewing forth: Lostprophets - 4:am Forever

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#20: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 12:09:45 by unknown

Post removed (X-No-Archive: yes)

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#21: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 12:14:20 by Kullrad

Whilst being taken roughly from behind, Demosthenes squealed:

&gt;&gt;FFS, Dem. It's time to move on, let go, etc.
&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt;It's not like she fucked off with you best mate, is it?
&gt;
&gt; The lead from one of my fave local bands that I introduced her to.

Ah, wounder, mate :-(

&gt; Fate hates us Kully. With nasty big serrated knives that go deep into
&gt; the back and emerge in a bloody spray just below the sternum.

And yet look how lovely Nunns life is. It's like there's some sort of
cuntspiricy holding us down.

&gt; Oh and I think they're rusty and you have to watch out for the
&gt; tetanus. That's the real kicker.

A kicker /and/ a punch in the kidneys.

&gt;&gt;Cunts.
&gt;
&gt; Who'd have one, I ask?

Especially in this heat.

--
Kullrad (4)
UKSF Best New Poster 2003

&quot;Er, I think you'll find it's the Year of the Brummiecunt this time.
Yam Ki Pa Tai.&quot; - Joe Horowitz

Winamp is spewing forth: Lostprophets - Heaven For The Weather, Hell For
The Company

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#22: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 12:15:43 by unknown

Post removed (X-No-Archive: yes)

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#23: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 12:17:53 by unknown

Post removed (X-No-Archive: yes)

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#24: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 12:21:39 by Kullrad

Whilst being taken roughly from behind, Demosthenes squealed:

&gt;&gt;&gt; The lead from one of my fave local bands that I introduced her to.
&gt;&gt;Ah, wounder, mate :-(
&gt;
&gt; Yeah, I fucking hate that I can't go see them now. Fuck and fuck.

Yeah, it wasn't like I could hate Villa anymore than I already did.

You win ;-)

&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;Cunts.
&gt;&gt;&gt; Who'd have one, I ask?
&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt;Especially in this heat.
&gt;
&gt; It'd be like fucking a fan-forced oven.

OTWBFB?

--
Kullrad (4)
UKSF Best New Poster 2003

&quot;Er, I think you'll find it's the Year of the Brummiecunt this time.
Yam Ki Pa Tai.&quot; - Joe Horowitz

Winamp is spewing forth: Lostprophets - Always All Ways (Apologies, Glances
And Messed Up Chances)

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#25: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 12:22:27 by Kullrad

Whilst being taken roughly from behind, Demosthenes squealed:

&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt; They were all reading the 'How Fucked Up are you' thread, yes.
&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;Is that still going?
&gt;&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt;&gt; No.
&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt;Thank fuck for that.
&gt;
&gt; Absolfuckinglutely. What a polluted pile of Thackerish tosh.

AWTWP.

Anyway, where is Nunn? It's not like he types with his feet.

--
Kullrad (4)
UKSF Best New Poster 2003

&quot;Er, I think you'll find it's the Year of the Brummiecunt this time.
Yam Ki Pa Tai.&quot; - Joe Horowitz

Winamp is spewing forth: Lostprophets - We Still Kill The Old Way

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#26: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 12:23:22 by Osbourne Ruddock

Martin &lt;<a href="mailto:news&#64;mandab.co.uk" target="_blank">news&#64;mandab.co.uk</a>&gt; wrote in
news:<a href="mailto:MPG.1f295eb49b050cf3989b0e&#64;news.individual.net" target="_blank">MPG.1f295eb49b050cf3989b0e&#64;news.individual.net</a>:

&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt; Monged feet and legs are the in thing in UKSF this year Ben.
&gt;&gt;
&gt; I think I've monged my kidneys. Can't think of any other reason for
the
&gt; shooting pains in my lower back.
&gt;

Mate of my dad, had pains in his lower back for a couple of years, just
presumed it was back pain, getting older etc... Was visiting the doc
last year and happened to mention it, doc was a little worried so ran a
few blood tests on him.

Turns out he had cancer of the kidneys and stomach, and it had gone to
his liver.

Dead in 5 weeks.

This tale is almost Cypheresque in it's grim simplicity.

--

Cheers, Os

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#27: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 12:24:31 by unknown

Post removed (X-No-Archive: yes)

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#28: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 12:28:03 by Martin G Bridges

In article &lt;<a href="mailto:Xns9806E384072DFstrikeboyhotmailcom&#64;130.133.1.4" target="_blank">Xns9806E384072DFstrikeboyhotmailcom&#64;130.133.1.4</a>&gt;,
<a href="mailto:strikeboy&#64;hotmail.com" target="_blank">strikeboy&#64;hotmail.com</a> says...
&gt; Martin &lt;<a href="mailto:news&#64;mandab.co.uk" target="_blank">news&#64;mandab.co.uk</a>&gt; wrote in
&gt; news:<a href="mailto:MPG.1f295eb49b050cf3989b0e&#64;news.individual.net" target="_blank">MPG.1f295eb49b050cf3989b0e&#64;news.individual.net</a>:
&gt;
&gt; &gt;&gt;
&gt; &gt; I think I've monged my kidneys. Can't think of any other reason for
&gt; the
&gt; &gt; shooting pains in my lower back.
&gt; &gt;
&gt;
&gt; Mate of my dad, had pains in his lower back for a couple of years, just
&gt; presumed it was back pain, getting older etc... Was visiting the doc
&gt; last year and happened to mention it, doc was a little worried so ran a
&gt; few blood tests on him.
&gt;
&gt; Turns out he had cancer of the kidneys and stomach, and it had gone to
&gt; his liver.
&gt;
&gt; Dead in 5 weeks.
&gt;
Thanks, you've really cheered me up Os. Nice one.

M

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#29: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 12:38:25 by Osbourne Ruddock

Martin &lt;<a href="mailto:news&#64;mandab.co.uk" target="_blank">news&#64;mandab.co.uk</a>&gt; wrote in news:MPG.1f296b0a6198dcd9989b13
@news.individual.net:

&gt;&gt; Turns out he had cancer of the kidneys and stomach, and it had gone to
&gt;&gt; his liver.
&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt; Dead in 5 weeks.
&gt;&gt;
&gt; Thanks, you've really cheered me up Os. Nice one.
&gt;

No worries Mart, if it's any consolation my balls hurt occasionally.

--

Cheers, Os

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#30: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 13:18:32 by Kullrad

Whilst being taken roughly from behind, Osbourne Ruddock squealed:

&gt;&gt;&gt; Dead in 5 weeks.
&gt;&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt; Thanks, you've really cheered me up Os. Nice one.

&gt; No worries Mart, if it's any consolation my balls hurt occasionally.

Yes, Mrs R does have a firm grip, doesn't she.

--
Kullrad (4)
UKSF Best New Poster 2003

&quot;Er, I think you'll find it's the Year of the Brummiecunt this time.
Yam Ki Pa Tai.&quot; - Joe Horowitz

Winamp is spewing forth: Lostprophets - Burn, Burn

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#31: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 13:48:20 by comps

According to &lt;<a href="mailto:demosthenes&#64;theonering.net" target="_blank">demosthenes&#64;theonering.net</a>&gt;:
&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt; They were all reading the 'How Fucked Up are you' thread, yes.
&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;Is that still going?
&gt;&gt;&gt; No.
&gt;&gt;Thank fuck for that.
&gt;Absolfuckinglutely. What a polluted pile of Thackerish tosh.

Ooh, that's really quite harsh. Fair, but harsh.
--

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#32: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 13:48:57 by comps

According to &lt;<a href="mailto:kullradNOSPAM&#64;kullrad.com" target="_blank">kullradNOSPAM&#64;kullrad.com</a>&gt;:
&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;Anyone got a spare?
&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt; Apparently not.
&gt;&gt;&gt;*Everyones* got a spare kidney.
&gt;&gt;&gt;Unless, they haven't, obviously.
&gt;&gt; I think mine got steaked.
&gt;Did it hurt?

Not for long, but it was quite tasty.


--

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#33: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 13:51:06 by comps

According to &lt;<a href="mailto:strikeboy&#64;hotmail.com" target="_blank">strikeboy&#64;hotmail.com</a>&gt;:
&gt;Turns out he had cancer of the kidneys and stomach, and it had gone to
&gt;his liver.
&gt;
&gt;Dead in 5 weeks.

To be fair, if he had terminal cancer that was only &quot;a bit of back ache&quot;
amount of pain, that doesn't sound as impressively scary as cancer is
normally portrayed to be.
--

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#34: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 13:51:22 by comps

According to &lt;<a href="mailto:news&#64;mandab.co.uk" target="_blank">news&#64;mandab.co.uk</a>&gt;:
&gt;&gt; Dead in 5 weeks.
&gt;Thanks, you've really cheered me up Os. Nice one.

UKSF is good like that.

--

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#35: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 13:51:53 by comps

According to &lt;<a href="mailto:strikeboy&#64;hotmail.com" target="_blank">strikeboy&#64;hotmail.com</a>&gt;:
&gt;&gt;&gt; Dead in 5 weeks.
&gt;&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt; Thanks, you've really cheered me up Os. Nice one.
&gt;
&gt;No worries Mart, if it's any consolation my balls hurt occasionally.

Is it typically whilst reading UKSF?

--

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#36: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 13:52:22 by comps

According to &lt;<a href="mailto:roondog04&#64;hotmail.com" target="_blank">roondog04&#64;hotmail.com</a>&gt;:
&gt;I have a few bruised metertarsals from crunching challenges in pre-season
&gt;training. Still waiting for the sun to print some diagrams of it like they
&gt;did for my namesake.

Yeah, pretend like anyone on here actually plays football. Heh.

--

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#37: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 13:54:10 by comps

According to &lt;<a href="mailto:demosthenes&#64;theonering.net" target="_blank">demosthenes&#64;theonering.net</a>&gt;:
&gt;I'm as healthy as a fucking horse. Except for the mental scars left by
&gt;a certain exgf. Do those count?

I bet UKSF can give you mental scars that will make you forget all about
your mental scars from your exgf.
--

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#38: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 13:54:43 by comps

According to &lt;<a href="mailto:kullradNOSPAM&#64;kullrad.com" target="_blank">kullradNOSPAM&#64;kullrad.com</a>&gt;:
&gt;It's not like she fucked off with you best mate, is it?

To be fair, I don't think she is /very/ fucked off with him.
Well, probably not yet, anyhow.
--

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#39: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 13:55:59 by comps

According to &lt;<a href="mailto:demosthenes&#64;theonering.net" target="_blank">demosthenes&#64;theonering.net</a>&gt;:
&gt;Yeah, I fucking hate that I can't go see them now. Fuck and fuck.

Why not? You'd even have something to heckle with!

--

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#40: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 14:01:39 by Kullrad

Whilst being taken roughly from behind, Vicky Conlan squealed:

&gt;&gt;I have a few bruised metertarsals from crunching challenges in
&gt;&gt;pre-season training. Still waiting for the sun to print some diagrams
&gt;&gt;of it like they did for my namesake.
&gt;
&gt; Yeah, pretend like anyone on here actually plays football. Heh.

Didn't Nunn have trials for Coventry once?

Oh, hang on, that was trials *in* Coventry.

My bad.

--
Kullrad (4)
UKSF Best New Poster 2003

&quot;Er, I think you'll find it's the Year of the Brummiecunt this time.
Yam Ki Pa Tai.&quot; - Joe Horowitz

Winamp is spewing forth: Lostprophets - We Are Godzilla You Are Japan
(Album Version)

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#41: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 14:04:02 by Kullrad

Whilst being taken roughly from behind, Vicky Conlan squealed:

&gt;&gt;I'm as healthy as a fucking horse. Except for the mental scars left by
&gt;&gt;a certain exgf. Do those count?
&gt;
&gt; I bet UKSF can give you mental scars that will make you forget all about
&gt; your mental scars from your exgf.

Actually, that'll be <a href="http://www.bennunn.com/images/btnpierced.jpg," target="_blank">http://www.bennunn.com/images/btnpierced.jpg,</a> BYPS.

--
Kullrad (4)
UKSF Best New Poster 2003

&quot;Er, I think you'll find it's the Year of the Brummiecunt this time.
Yam Ki Pa Tai.&quot; - Joe Horowitz

Winamp is spewing forth: Lostprophets - Sway

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#42: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 14:15:14 by Martin G Bridges

In article &lt;<a href="mailto:Xns980684ED6C639192137&#64;130.133.1.18" target="_blank">Xns980684ED6C639192137&#64;130.133.1.18</a>&gt;,
<a href="mailto:kullradNOSPAM&#64;kullrad.com" target="_blank">kullradNOSPAM&#64;kullrad.com</a> says...
&gt; Whilst being taken roughly from behind, Vicky Conlan squealed:
&gt;
&gt; &gt;&gt;I'm as healthy as a fucking horse. Except for the mental scars left by
&gt; &gt;&gt;a certain exgf. Do those count?
&gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt; I bet UKSF can give you mental scars that will make you forget all about
&gt; &gt; your mental scars from your exgf.
&gt;
&gt; Actually, that'll be <a href="http://www.bennunn.com/images/btnpierced.jpg," target="_blank">http://www.bennunn.com/images/btnpierced.jpg,</a> BYPS.
&gt;
Or what about those mental images I was giving you yestersay, eh? ;-)

M

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#43: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 14:20:24 by Kullrad

Whilst being taken roughly from behind, Martin squealed:

&gt;&gt; &gt;&gt;I'm as healthy as a fucking horse. Except for the mental scars left
&gt;&gt; &gt;&gt;by a certain exgf. Do those count?
&gt;&gt; &gt;
&gt;&gt; &gt; I bet UKSF can give you mental scars that will make you forget all
&gt;&gt; &gt; about your mental scars from your exgf.
&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt; Actually, that'll be <a href="http://www.bennunn.com/images/btnpierced.jpg," target="_blank">http://www.bennunn.com/images/btnpierced.jpg,</a>
&gt;&gt; BYPS.
&gt;&gt;
&gt; Or what about those mental images I was giving you yestersay, eh? ;-)

What about theAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!111!!!one!!11!!11!!!!!

You cunt.

--
Kullrad (4)
UKSF Best New Poster 2003

&quot;Er, I think you'll find it's the Year of the Brummiecunt this time.
Yam Ki Pa Tai.&quot; - Joe Horowitz

Winamp is spewing forth: Lostprophets - Everyday Combat

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#44: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 15:14:14 by Sir Benjamin Nunn

&quot;Osbourne Ruddock&quot; &lt;<a href="mailto:strikeboy&#64;hotmail.com" target="_blank">strikeboy&#64;hotmail.com</a>&gt; wrote in message
news:<a href="mailto:Xns980675A05C193strikeboyhotmailcom&#64;130.133.1.4..." target="_blank">Xns980675A05C193strikeboyhotmailcom&#64;130.133.1.4...</a>

&gt;
&gt; Monged feet and legs are the in thing in UKSF this year Ben.
&gt;
&gt; Congrat's for coming on board.


Will I get to have a relationship now then?

BTN

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#45: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 15:18:16 by Kullrad

Whilst being taken roughly from behind, Sir Benjamin Nunn squealed:

&gt;&gt; Monged feet and legs are the in thing in UKSF this year Ben.
&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt; Congrat's for coming on board.
&gt;
&gt; Will I get to have a relationship now then?

Don't be fucking stupid.

--
Kullrad (4)
UKSF Best New Poster 2003

&quot;Er, I think you'll find it's the Year of the Brummiecunt this time.
Yam Ki Pa Tai.&quot; - Joe Horowitz

Winamp is spewing forth: Lostprophets - To Hell We Ride

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#46: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 16:17:43 by unknown

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#47: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 16:18:36 by unknown

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#48: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 16:35:56 by Dat

On Thu, 20 Jul 2006 08:38:26 +0000 (UTC), <a href="mailto:comps&#64;riffraff.plig.net" target="_blank">comps&#64;riffraff.plig.net</a>
(Vicky Conlan) wrote:

&gt;According to &lt;<a href="mailto:dat_004&#64;yahoo.co.uk" target="_blank">dat_004&#64;yahoo.co.uk</a>&gt;:
&gt;&gt;&gt;FFS. Severed Ligaments.
&gt;&gt;&lt;snip tale of disabled man almost scoring&gt;
&gt;
&gt;Heh. This is /Ben/ we're talking about.

Exactly. Hence the proximity to sealing the deal.

Were it Oscar &quot;Hmm&quot;ing in that manner I might think that he was trying
to recall a popular tune. But Ben!?

If that shave was any closer he'd be bleeding (accompanied possibly).


--
Dat

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#49: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 17:28:41 by Dat

On Thu, 20 Jul 2006 20:17:53 +1000, Demosthenes
&lt;<a href="mailto:demosthenes&#64;theonering.net" target="_blank">demosthenes&#64;theonering.net</a>&gt; wrote:

&gt;On 20 Jul 2006 10:14:20 GMT, Kullrad &lt;<a href="mailto:kullradNOSPAM&#64;kullrad.com" target="_blank">kullradNOSPAM&#64;kullrad.com</a>&gt;
&gt;wrote:
&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;It's not like she fucked off with you best mate, is it?
&gt;&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt;&gt; The lead from one of my fave local bands that I introduced her to.
&gt;&gt;Ah, wounder, mate :-(
&gt;
&gt;Yeah, I fucking hate that I can't go see them now. Fuck and fuck.

Pah, going out is too much trouble anyway. Here's the solution...

View this <a href="http://tinyurl.com/je2x2" target="_blank">http://tinyurl.com/je2x2</a> whilst listening to their cd. If
you like you can drink a warm VB and throw a full ashtray over your
head. It'll be just like being there, only better, not to mention
better. Money back guarantee.


--
Dat

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#50: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 22:49:32 by Osbourne Ruddock

&quot;Sir Benjamin Nunn&quot; &lt;<a href="mailto:bennunn&#64;depro.co.uk" target="_blank">bennunn&#64;depro.co.uk</a>&gt; wrote in news:4i9dt1F2pui8U1
@individual.net:

&gt;&gt; Monged feet and legs are the in thing in UKSF this year Ben.
&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt; Congrat's for coming on board.
&gt;
&gt;
&gt; Will I get to have a relationship now then?
&gt;

Didn't you say they were already eyeing you up in Wetherspoons?

It's happening already!!1studmuffin!1oneLol!

--

Cheers, Os

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#51: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 22:59:23 by Osbourne Ruddock

Demosthenes &lt;<a href="mailto:demosthenes&#64;theonering.net" target="_blank">demosthenes&#64;theonering.net</a>&gt; wrote in
news:<a href="mailto:vtkub2t4j854hr6fn9arcm4dg3bqkagkc3&#64;4ax.com" target="_blank">vtkub2t4j854hr6fn9arcm4dg3bqkagkc3&#64;4ax.com</a>:

&gt;&gt;&gt; agony, given my already-high pain threshold. Codeine
&gt;&gt;&gt; painkillers'n'shit.
&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt;Monged feet and legs are the in thing in UKSF this year Ben.
&gt;
&gt; I'm as healthy as a fucking horse. Except for the mental scars left by
&gt; a certain exgf. Do those count?
&gt;

All our scars count Demo. As we travel through life each little hurt,
each little scar, every setback, betrayal and injustice crafts itself
upon our very being to make us who we are today.

Thank the jerks and the fascists and the preachers and the paedo's, the
GYsL and the ex-GF's. Without them you wouldn't be the fine figure of a
man you are today.

\m/

--

Cheers, Os

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#52: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 23:00:15 by Osbourne Ruddock

Kullrad &lt;<a href="mailto:kullradNOSPAM&#64;kullrad.com" target="_blank">kullradNOSPAM&#64;kullrad.com</a>&gt; wrote in news:Xns98066E18ACB9C192137@
130.133.1.18:

&gt;&gt; Monged feet and legs are the in thing in UKSF this year Ben.
&gt;
&gt; Yeah, I nearly busted my toe playing 5-a-side a few weeks back.
&gt;
&gt; I'm so 'with it' as the kids these days say.
&gt;

You be housin' dog.

--

Cheers, Os

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#53: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 23:01:24 by Osbourne Ruddock

<a href="mailto:comps&#64;riffraff.plig.net" target="_blank">comps&#64;riffraff.plig.net</a> (Vicky Conlan) wrote in news:e9nqop$2rng$8
@magenta.plig.net:

&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt;No worries Mart, if it's any consolation my balls hurt occasionally.
&gt;
&gt; Is it typically whilst reading UKSF?
&gt;

Well, ITWTCITD, then yes.

--

Cheers, Os

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#54: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-20 23:03:02 by Osbourne Ruddock

<a href="mailto:comps&#64;riffraff.plig.net" target="_blank">comps&#64;riffraff.plig.net</a> (Vicky Conlan) wrote in news:e9nqna$2rng$6
@magenta.plig.net:

&gt; To be fair, if he had terminal cancer that was only &quot;a bit of back ache&quot;
&gt; amount of pain, that doesn't sound as impressively scary as cancer is
&gt; normally portrayed to be.

Yes it was a bit more than that but was never diagnosed as cancer until
right at the end. It was always just presumed he had a bad back.

--

Cheers, Os

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#55: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-21 01:09:08 by unknown

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#56: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-21 01:09:58 by unknown

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#57: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-21 01:32:50 by Michael Cunningham

&quot;Demosthenes&quot; &lt;<a href="mailto:demosthenes&#64;theonering.net" target="_blank">demosthenes&#64;theonering.net</a>&gt; wrote in message
news:<a href="mailto:n24vb2lb4f4hcl97poqvff3l15e3533ofm&#64;4ax.com..." target="_blank">n24vb2lb4f4hcl97poqvff3l15e3533ofm&#64;4ax.com...</a>
&gt; He's allergic to tomatoes, too. I need to take a course in being a
&gt; cunt. Damnit, where's mikey when you need him?

I _could_ teach you a certain level of cuntiness but, in truth, you
really have to be born with it. Not everyone can be as much of
a cunt as I am, you know.


--
Mike

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#58: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-21 01:34:18 by Michael Cunningham

&quot;Kullrad&quot; &lt;<a href="mailto:kullradNOSPAM&#64;kullrad.com" target="_blank">kullradNOSPAM&#64;kullrad.com</a>&gt; wrote in message
news:<a href="mailto:Xns980684ED6C639192137&#64;130.133.1.18..." target="_blank">Xns980684ED6C639192137&#64;130.133.1.18...</a>
&gt;&gt; I bet UKSF can give you mental scars that will make you forget all about
&gt;&gt; your mental scars from your exgf.
&gt;
&gt; Actually, that'll be <a href="http://www.bennunn.com/images/btnpierced.jpg," target="_blank">http://www.bennunn.com/images/btnpierced.jpg,</a> BYPS.

I don't get why people pretend that btnpierced is some sort of
ugly, mind-destroying device that makes people wish they were
blind in a transparent effort to make themselves seem really
cynical and heterosexual

It's really quite beautiful.


--
Mike

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#59: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-21 11:08:58 by comps

According to &lt;<a href="mailto:superman&#64;xxblockxxuksf.org.uk" target="_blank">superman&#64;xxblockxxuksf.org.uk</a>&gt;:
&gt;&gt;&gt; I bet UKSF can give you mental scars that will make you forget all about
&gt;&gt;&gt; your mental scars from your exgf.
&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt; Actually, that'll be <a href="http://www.bennunn.com/images/btnpierced.jpg," target="_blank">http://www.bennunn.com/images/btnpierced.jpg,</a> BYPS.
&gt;
&gt;I don't get why people pretend that btnpierced is some sort of
&gt;ugly, mind-destroying device that makes people wish they were
&gt;blind in a transparent effort to make themselves seem really
&gt;cynical and heterosexual
&gt;
&gt;It's really quite beautiful.

It's the beauty of it that is the real mental-scar-former, obv
--

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#60: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-21 19:08:12 by Victoria Barrett

On Wed, 19 Jul 2006 20:33:10 +0100, &quot;Sir Benjamin Nunn&quot;
&lt;<a href="mailto:bennunn&#64;depro.co.uk" target="_blank">bennunn&#64;depro.co.uk</a>&gt; wrote:

&gt;FFS. Severed Ligaments.

Holy crippled feet, Batman. That's awful, Ben. Get well soon. :(

&gt;I spent my morning in A &amp; E, and my afternoon in the pub, with people being
&gt;nice to me.

Liar.

--
<a href="http://futuremd.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">http://futuremd.blogspot.com/</a>

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#61: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-22 05:33:22 by Dat

On Thu, 20 Jul 2006 23:09:58 GMT, Paul Blarmy &lt;<a href="mailto:foxesfan&#64;trashmail.net" target="_blank">foxesfan&#64;trashmail.net</a>&gt;
wrote:

&gt;My right arm has a sort of hairless patch. Should I be worried?

If you weren't already worried you wouldn't have mentioned it.

That's ok though. UKSF is the place more people should turn to to have
their deepest, darkest fears assuaged.

For what it's worth, nearly all of us have a similarly hairless patch
on our right arms. Most of us have them on our left arms too. We just
call them our elbows and forget about it.

Next.


--
Dat

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#62: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-22 13:27:03 by Osbourne Ruddock

Dat &lt;<a href="mailto:dat_004&#64;yahoo.co.uk" target="_blank">dat_004&#64;yahoo.co.uk</a>&gt; wrote in
news:<a href="mailto:8463c2hn258fntlk4qaq4pfd25as8rnncg&#64;4ax.com" target="_blank">8463c2hn258fntlk4qaq4pfd25as8rnncg&#64;4ax.com</a>:

&gt;&gt;My right arm has a sort of hairless patch. Should I be worried?
&gt;
&gt; If you weren't already worried you wouldn't have mentioned it.
&gt;
&gt; That's ok though. UKSF is the place more people should turn to to have
&gt; their deepest, darkest fears assuaged.
&gt;

Nope, I reckon Blarmy's fucked Dat. Poor bastard. The left side of his
back will develop a 'twinge' in the next few weeks.

It's horrible.

--

Cheers, Os

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#63: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-22 17:24:45 by Dat

On 22 Jul 2006 11:27:03 GMT, Osbourne Ruddock &lt;<a href="mailto:strikeboy&#64;hotmail.com" target="_blank">strikeboy&#64;hotmail.com</a>&gt;
wrote:

&gt;&gt;&gt;My right arm has a sort of hairless patch. Should I be worried?
&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt; If you weren't already worried you wouldn't have mentioned it.
&gt;&gt;
&gt;&gt; That's ok though. UKSF is the place more people should turn to to have
&gt;&gt; their deepest, darkest fears assuaged.
&gt;
&gt;Nope, I reckon Blarmy's fucked Dat. Poor bastard. The left side of his
&gt;back will develop a 'twinge' in the next few weeks.

Well duh! I was trying to spare him any further anguish in his last
few days. It's called bedside manners, Os. You should try it sometime.

&gt;It's horrible.

Bloody oath it is....oh wait, are you talking about letting the cat
out of the bag or your incorrect diagnosis?

What the fuck...

Sorry you had to find out like this, Paul....well, sorry you found out
at all tbh. Now that you're expecting the worst though, you may as
well have the whole story so that you can put your affairs in order.

The development of a hairless patch, particularly upon the right arm,
is symptomatic of the advanced stages of testicular cancer. It's a
tricky little bugger the ol' ball rot. Were your love spuds to swell
up suddenly or to cause sudden unbearable pain there's no doubt that
you'd overcome your embarrassment sooner or later and seek
professional advice. This is the last thing bollock borers want.

Even a part-time, drive-thru, witch doctor would have little
difficulty in recognizing the problem, and Mr Testicular Cancer would
soon find himself and the comfy nuts he inhabits lying in the bottom
of a bin....or in a curry. Makes no difference to him. He doesn't wish
to be in either as he's quite content devouring all your precious
newly born spunk, much like Kully would be if the opportunity to wait
underneath arrived, for as long as he can.

No, what our old pal TC does is hide until the very last minute when
he's sucked all the goodness from your core, at which time, in an
often vain attempt to find another host[1], he causes your scrotum to
explode with a force not dissimilar to an erupting volcano and flees
the scene of his crime. Mostly he just lands harmlessly on walls and
floors and the like...god forbid anyone else has to witness what it
looks like when his exit strategy occurs inside a vehicle....but if I
were you....not that it'll matter much to you considering the
circumstances, but you may wish to warn your friends...I wouldn't be
in any hurry to breathe until I'd been properly disinfected and would
rather eat my own family jewels than touch the mess with bare skin.

Anyway. I'm sure you're wondering how TC and a bald patch on your arm
are connected. As you know, cancer is a living and growing organism.
All living organisms develop waste. Basically what your nasty visitor
is doing is eating himself out of house and home, that being your
goolies in this particular instance. Being the master at covert
operations that he is, he's hardly likely to dump truckloads of your
discarded spunk factories right next to the centre of operations (as
per earlier), so to remain concealed for as long as possible, the
cunning little bugger (s...that's right, you're probably harbouring
billions of 'em at this point) uses your own bloodstream to do a bit
of illegal dumping. The location varies from one doomed fucker to the
next depending on strength of bloodflow. If it's any consolation
your's isn't all that great so you probably wouldn't have had long on
this earth despite your uninvited guest. Most blokes are usually
capable of pumping the cancerous shit at least as far as their head
before it begins to accumulate and kill the hair follicles.

So there you have it in a nutshell (Sorry). If knowledge is indeed
power, then you'd best be making use of yours asap. It would, for
example, be inadvisable to save it up just in case you might possibly
get the call to participate in a quiz show anytime after 3:35pm on
Tuesday.



[1]Your manmarble muncher is one of your old skool diseases. It
doesn't know the first thing about sexual transmissions. It's not a
stick shift kinda guy at all. Best guess is that it's been around
since the time of the dinosaurs (ie. before ghey was invented) and
thought that camping out in a hostile vadge to ambush another
testosterone fueled torpedo was a mug's game. It is most commonly
acquired by inhaling farts from an infected carrier in at least the
third stage, aka terminus[2]. This would explain the increased levels
of methane and hydrogen sulphide found in deep ice core samples that
coincide with all mass extinction events.

[2]Yes, that is the technical term for the end of the line. Before
stage three it may still be treated by total amputation. After...it's
all over red rover.


--
Dat

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#64: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-22 17:34:10 by unknown

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#65: Re: My Left Foot

Posted on 2006-07-22 17:58:53 by Dat

On Sat, 22 Jul 2006 15:34:10 GMT, Paul Blarmy &lt;<a href="mailto:foxesfan&#64;trashmail.net" target="_blank">foxesfan&#64;trashmail.net</a>&gt;
wrote:

&gt;It sort of puts Bens little problems into perspective doesn't it.

Well yeah, so long as you don't know the real reason for ligaments
becoming severed so easily. They're not make of play doh y'know.

The old things that go bump in the night story means that his
physician expects the worst, and probably doesn't want to risk
contracting it himself. It's not so much a selfish thing as a
protecting his other patients thing. In effect he's prepared to lose
one for the greater good, and you've got to applaud him for making
that sacrifice.


--
Dat

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