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Sports » rec.sport.rugby.union » Mike Watkins
| Mike Watkins [message #1005682] |
Mon, 08 May 2006 14:54 |
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I was talking to Mike Watkins, former Wales captain and hooker on
Sunday. He told me of a famous occasion when the Wales dressing room
was broken into in Dublin. Somehow the total amount of cash and
valuables stolen from this team of amateurs amounted to =A332,000 - the
only person not to make a claim was Dai Pickering, who said he had
nothing of value on him. Watkins observed that, "he was a snotty
bastard, even then."
Even funnier was his memory of the first time he went to play at
Twickers. It was at the time of the miners strike and as they were
driving into the ground, there were a load of hamper toting, Roller
driving ponces giving the team the vics and shouting, "Get back to
Wales you inbreds", which he thought was pretty rich. Anyway, in the
changing room, the captain gave a stirring speech along the lines of:
"Did you see those rich, English bastards outside with their champagne
and picnic hampers, stuffing their fat faces silly while there are
miners families living off handouts back in Wales? Well I can't tell
you that they won't be rich ignorant English bastards tomorrow, because
they will be, but today, we can make their lives a little bit
miserable. I want you to go out there and give them everything you've
got...."
Out they all trooped to boos and cat calls. No swing low in those days,
but the lads were fired up anyway, so it wasn't necessary. At the first
lineout Mike took his chance to give it everything. He threw the ball
in, then jumped on the English hooker and smacked him one. The English
hooker went down and for his trouble Mike kicked him in the bollocks.
The Welsh captain was horrified and he told Watkins that he would never
play for Wales again.
After the match, the English hooker approached Mike and asked him what
that was all about. So, Mike waved his hand in the direction of the
stands, "See that lot - they came expecting a show - so you and I gave
them one. Nothing personal, just show business."
Needless to say, Wales wiped the floor with England, and contrary to
expectations Watkins was made captain a few years later. The captain he
replaced was Eddie Butler. Apparently, the chairman of the selectors
rang Mike to tell him he was back in the squad, to which Mike retorted:
"Am I captain?" The selector was slightly taken aback and said: no, he
wasn't because Butler was captain. So Watkins said, "Okay then,
bollocks to you, I don't play. Unless I'm captain you can get someone
else." So, to cut a long story short, the selector went off the line
and promised to ring back ten minutes later. This he did with the
announcement that Butler had been told that Watkins was captain.
And there's me thinking that it was some transcendant process that
elevated players to the captaincy.
Fantastic character.
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| Re: Mike Watkins [message #1005695 ] |
Mon, 08 May 2006 19:24 |
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"Martyn W" <ukhamlet [at] gmail.com> wrote in news:1147092856.216666.100530
[at] i39g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
Um I’m pretty sure he was captain for his first international and then
against England at Twickers in a 25ish 12ish win which is probably the only
time he played there because he only had a handful of caps in IIRC 1984.
Pleasant bloke, I had a long drunken chat with him a few years back on the
merits of the then newly formed Premier division.
Dave
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| Re: Mike Watkins [message #1005698 ] |
Mon, 08 May 2006 21:09 |
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Dave L wrote:
> "Martyn W" <ukhamlet [at] gmail.com> wrote in news:1147092856.216666.100530
> [at] i39g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
>
> Um I’m pretty sure he was captain for his first international and then
> against England at Twickers in a 25ish 12ish win which is probably the only
> time he played there because he only had a handful of caps in IIRC 1984.
> Pleasant bloke, I had a long drunken chat with him a few years back on the
> merits of the then newly formed Premier division.
>
> Dave
>
Insert Laurie jokes here.
It's all in Boyd's FAQ....
How is it the front-row are always 'good chaps'? I reckon it's because
they look as fat and as drunk as the punters in the bar after the game.
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| Re: Mike Watkins [message #1005699 ] |
Mon, 08 May 2006 21:11 |
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Dave L wrote:
> "Martyn W" <ukhamlet [at] gmail.com> wrote in news:1147092856.216666.100530
> [at] i39g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
>
> Um I'm pretty sure he was captain for his first international and then
> against England at Twickers in a 25ish 12ish win which is probably the only
> time he played there because he only had a handful of caps in IIRC 1984.
> Pleasant bloke, I had a long drunken chat with him a few years back on the
> merits of the then newly formed Premier division.
>
> Dave
I was pretty well oiled myself last night, so I may have the sequence
of events wrong. He's a fit bugger, though, but the black hair is a bit
suspicious.
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| Re: Mike Watkins [message #1005700 ] |
Mon, 08 May 2006 21:12 |
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didgerman wrote:
> Dave L wrote:
> > "Martyn W" <ukhamlet [at] gmail.com> wrote in news:1147092856.216666.100530
> > [at] i39g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
> >
> > Um I'm pretty sure he was captain for his first international and then
> > against England at Twickers in a 25ish 12ish win which is probably the only
> > time he played there because he only had a handful of caps in IIRC 1984.
> > Pleasant bloke, I had a long drunken chat with him a few years back on the
> > merits of the then newly formed Premier division.
> >
> > Dave
> >
>
> Insert Laurie jokes here.
> It's all in Boyd's FAQ....
>
> How is it the front-row are always 'good chaps'? I reckon it's because
> they look as fat and as drunk as the punters in the bar after the game.
I'd quite like to be as fat as Spike, but I was as drunk.
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| Re: Mike Watkins [message #1005703 ] |
Mon, 08 May 2006 22:21 |
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>
, but the black hair is a bit
> suspicious.
Aaah, its the Celtic gene!!
Lew
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| Re: Mike Watkins [message #1005706 ] |
Mon, 08 May 2006 22:47 |
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Martyn W wrote:
> Dave L wrote:
>> "Martyn W" <ukhamlet [at] gmail.com> wrote in news:1147092856.216666.100530
>> [at] i39g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
>>
>> Um I'm pretty sure he was captain for his first international and then
>> against England at Twickers in a 25ish 12ish win which is probably the only
>> time he played there because he only had a handful of caps in IIRC 1984.
>> Pleasant bloke, I had a long drunken chat with him a few years back on the
>> merits of the then newly formed Premier division.
>>
>> Dave
>
> I was pretty well oiled myself last night, so I may have the sequence
> of events wrong. He's a fit bugger, though, but the black hair is a bit
> suspicious.
>
Surely the Assembly will make hair dye and shell suits compulsory in
Wales now?
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| Re: Mike Watkins [message #1005708 ] |
Mon, 08 May 2006 22:56 |
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>"Martyn W" <ukhamlet [at] gmail.com> wrote in news:1147092856.216666.100530
> [at] i39g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
>
>Um I’m pretty sure he was captain for his first international and then
>against England at Twickers in a 25ish 12ish win which is probably the only
>time he played there because he only had a handful of caps in IIRC 1984.
>Pleasant bloke, I had a long drunken chat with him a few years back on the
>merits of the then newly formed Premier division.
>
>Dave
Is this the same Spike Watkins that used to play for Crumlin ? Played
against him and he gave me hell all afternoon. After the game he
filled his pint pot with his own urine and downed it in one, At this
point I knew he would play for Wales - but only a few times.
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| Re: Mike Watkins [message #1005742 ] |
Tue, 09 May 2006 09:28 |
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didgerman wrote:
> Martyn W wrote:
> > Dave L wrote:
> >> "Martyn W" <ukhamlet [at] gmail.com> wrote in news:1147092856.216666.100530
> >> [at] i39g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
> >>
> >> Um I'm pretty sure he was captain for his first international and then
> >> against England at Twickers in a 25ish 12ish win which is probably the only
> >> time he played there because he only had a handful of caps in IIRC 1984.
> >> Pleasant bloke, I had a long drunken chat with him a few years back on the
> >> merits of the then newly formed Premier division.
> >>
> >> Dave
> >
> > I was pretty well oiled myself last night, so I may have the sequence
> > of events wrong. He's a fit bugger, though, but the black hair is a bit
> > suspicious.
> >
>
> Surely the Assembly will make hair dye and shell suits compulsory in
> Wales now?
Plus caravans, lucky heather and 26 dogs for each family.
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| Re: Mike Watkins [message #1005747 ] |
Tue, 09 May 2006 09:57 |
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Rod Newman wrote:
> >"Martyn W" <ukhamlet [at] gmail.com> wrote in news:1147092856.216666.100530
> > [at] i39g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
> >
> >Um I'm pretty sure he was captain for his first international and then
> >against England at Twickers in a 25ish 12ish win which is probably the only
> >time he played there because he only had a handful of caps in IIRC 1984.
> >Pleasant bloke, I had a long drunken chat with him a few years back on the
> >merits of the then newly formed Premier division.
> >
> >Dave
>
> Is this the same Spike Watkins that used to play for Crumlin ? Played
> against him and he gave me hell all afternoon. After the game he
> filled his pint pot with his own urine and downed it in one, At this
> point I knew he would play for Wales - but only a few times.
That sounds like Spikey. Hell of a boy.
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| Re: Mike Watkins [message #1005762 ] |
Tue, 09 May 2006 11:05 |
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Martyn W wrote:
> Rod Newman wrote:
> > >"Martyn W" <ukhamlet [at] gmail.com> wrote in news:1147092856.216666.100530
> > > [at] i39g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
> > >
> > >Um I'm pretty sure he was captain for his first international and then
> > >against England at Twickers in a 25ish 12ish win which is probably the only
> > >time he played there because he only had a handful of caps in IIRC 1984.
> > >Pleasant bloke, I had a long drunken chat with him a few years back on the
> > >merits of the then newly formed Premier division.
> > >
> > >Dave
> >
> > Is this the same Spike Watkins that used to play for Crumlin ? Played
> > against him and he gave me hell all afternoon. After the game he
> > filled his pint pot with his own urine and downed it in one, At this
> > point I knew he would play for Wales - but only a few times.
>
> That sounds like Spikey. Hell of a boy.
I won't tell you what Gareth Chilcott did when he turned up at a BBQ
and they'd run out of hotdogs
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| Re: Mike Watkins [message #1005764 ] |
Tue, 09 May 2006 11:31 |
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simon s-b wrote:
> Martyn W wrote:
> > Rod Newman wrote:
> > > >"Martyn W" <ukhamlet [at] gmail.com> wrote in news:1147092856.216666.100530
> > > > [at] i39g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
> > > >
> > > >Um I'm pretty sure he was captain for his first international and then
> > > >against England at Twickers in a 25ish 12ish win which is probably the only
> > > >time he played there because he only had a handful of caps in IIRC 1984.
> > > >Pleasant bloke, I had a long drunken chat with him a few years back on the
> > > >merits of the then newly formed Premier division.
> > > >
> > > >Dave
> > >
> > > Is this the same Spike Watkins that used to play for Crumlin ? Played
> > > against him and he gave me hell all afternoon. After the game he
> > > filled his pint pot with his own urine and downed it in one, At this
> > > point I knew he would play for Wales - but only a few times.
> >
> > That sounds like Spikey. Hell of a boy.
>
> I won't tell you what Gareth Chilcott did when he turned up at a BBQ
> and they'd run out of hotdogs
Similar story related to me by Watkins when he played for the Rest of
the World in South Africa, involving a raffle, and the SA union
President's wife.
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| Re: Mike Watkins [message #1005779 ] |
Tue, 09 May 2006 12:41 |
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Martyn W wrote:
> simon s-b wrote:
>
>> Martyn W wrote:
>>> Rod Newman wrote:
>>>>> "Martyn W" <ukhamlet [at] gmail.com> wrote in news:1147092856.216666.100530
>>>>> [at] i39g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
>>>>>
>>>>> Um I'm pretty sure he was captain for his first international and then
>>>>> against England at Twickers in a 25ish 12ish win which is probably the only
>>>>> time he played there because he only had a handful of caps in IIRC 1984.
>>>>> Pleasant bloke, I had a long drunken chat with him a few years back on the
>>>>> merits of the then newly formed Premier division.
>>>>>
>>>>> Dave
>>>> Is this the same Spike Watkins that used to play for Crumlin ? Played
>>>> against him and he gave me hell all afternoon. After the game he
>>>> filled his pint pot with his own urine and downed it in one, At this
>>>> point I knew he would play for Wales - but only a few times.
>>> That sounds like Spikey. Hell of a boy.
>> I won't tell you what Gareth Chilcott did when he turned up at a BBQ
>> and they'd run out of hotdogs
>
> Similar story related to me by Watkins when he played for the Rest of
> the World in South Africa, involving a raffle, and the SA union
> President's wife.
>
Now you are going to have to fill us all in...
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| Re: Mike Watkins [message #1005804 ] |
Tue, 09 May 2006 14:30 |
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Brendan wrote:
> Martyn W wrote:
> > simon s-b wrote:
> >
> >> Martyn W wrote:
> >>> Rod Newman wrote:
> >>>>> "Martyn W" <ukhamlet [at] gmail.com> wrote in news:1147092856.216666.100530
> >>>>> [at] i39g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Um I'm pretty sure he was captain for his first international and then
> >>>>> against England at Twickers in a 25ish 12ish win which is probably the only
> >>>>> time he played there because he only had a handful of caps in IIRC 1984.
> >>>>> Pleasant bloke, I had a long drunken chat with him a few years back on the
> >>>>> merits of the then newly formed Premier division.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Dave
> >>>> Is this the same Spike Watkins that used to play for Crumlin ? Played
> >>>> against him and he gave me hell all afternoon. After the game he
> >>>> filled his pint pot with his own urine and downed it in one, At this
> >>>> point I knew he would play for Wales - but only a few times.
> >>> That sounds like Spikey. Hell of a boy.
> >> I won't tell you what Gareth Chilcott did when he turned up at a BBQ
> >> and they'd run out of hotdogs
> >
> > Similar story related to me by Watkins when he played for the Rest of
> > the World in South Africa, involving a raffle, and the SA union
> > President's wife.
> >
>
> Now you are going to have to fill us all in...
Okay, seeing as you insist.
Spike was captain of the Rest when they played a Springbok side, in the
then Exclusion Zone of RSA. After the match a big dinner was arranged,
with 400 or so of the most stuffed blazers in the entire continent,
including said President and his good lady wife. Also booked for the
evening was the stunningly beautiful Miss South Africa, touted at the
time as a shoe-in for Miss Universe, or some other such
paternalistically repressive and objectifying competition.
So Mike, never one to miss a trick, cut a hole (a very large hole he
assured me) in the box for the raffle draw and shoved his tackle in
there under the tickets. Unfortunately, the pulchritudinous Miss Jarpie
didn't show, and Mike was left standing there on stage in front of the
guests, with his crown jewels stuck in a box, but the not the one he
hoped for, clearly.
Anyway, into the breech stepped the elderly, but willing, Mrs President
of the SARF and before Mike could do anything, she was across the stage
with her hands around his pride and joy. Apparently, she jumped back
and screamed, "There's a mouse in the box". Mikey said he wouldn't have
minded, but she could have at least have called it a rat.
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| Re: Mike Watkins [message #1005806 ] |
Tue, 09 May 2006 14:54 |
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Martyn W wrote:
> didgerman wrote:
>> Martyn W wrote:
>>> Dave L wrote:
>>>> "Martyn W" <ukhamlet [at] gmail.com> wrote in news:1147092856.216666.100530
>>>> [at] i39g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
>>>>
>>>> Um I'm pretty sure he was captain for his first international and then
>>>> against England at Twickers in a 25ish 12ish win which is probably the only
>>>> time he played there because he only had a handful of caps in IIRC 1984.
>>>> Pleasant bloke, I had a long drunken chat with him a few years back on the
>>>> merits of the then newly formed Premier division.
>>>>
>>>> Dave
>>> I was pretty well oiled myself last night, so I may have the sequence
>>> of events wrong. He's a fit bugger, though, but the black hair is a bit
>>> suspicious.
>>>
>> Surely the Assembly will make hair dye and shell suits compulsory in
>> Wales now?
>
> Plus caravans, lucky heather and 26 dogs for each family.
>
Man, I need to move to Wales....
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| Re: Mike Watkins [message #1005808 ] |
Tue, 09 May 2006 14:57 |
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Martyn W wrote:
> Brendan wrote:
>> Martyn W wrote:
>>> simon s-b wrote:
>>>
>>>> Martyn W wrote:
>>>>> Rod Newman wrote:
>>>>>>> "Martyn W" <ukhamlet [at] gmail.com> wrote in news:1147092856.216666.100530
>>>>>>> [at] i39g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Um I'm pretty sure he was captain for his first international and then
>>>>>>> against England at Twickers in a 25ish 12ish win which is probably the only
>>>>>>> time he played there because he only had a handful of caps in IIRC 1984.
>>>>>>> Pleasant bloke, I had a long drunken chat with him a few years back on the
>>>>>>> merits of the then newly formed Premier division.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Dave
>>>>>> Is this the same Spike Watkins that used to play for Crumlin ? Played
>>>>>> against him and he gave me hell all afternoon. After the game he
>>>>>> filled his pint pot with his own urine and downed it in one, At this
>>>>>> point I knew he would play for Wales - but only a few times.
>>>>> That sounds like Spikey. Hell of a boy.
>>>> I won't tell you what Gareth Chilcott did when he turned up at a BBQ
>>>> and they'd run out of hotdogs
>>> Similar story related to me by Watkins when he played for the Rest of
>>> the World in South Africa, involving a raffle, and the SA union
>>> President's wife.
>>>
>> Now you are going to have to fill us all in...
>
> Okay, seeing as you insist.
>
> Spike was captain of the Rest when they played a Springbok side, in the
> then Exclusion Zone of RSA. After the match a big dinner was arranged,
> with 400 or so of the most stuffed blazers in the entire continent,
> including said President and his good lady wife. Also booked for the
> evening was the stunningly beautiful Miss South Africa, touted at the
> time as a shoe-in for Miss Universe, or some other such
> paternalistically repressive and objectifying competition.
>
> So Mike, never one to miss a trick, cut a hole (a very large hole he
> assured me) in the box for the raffle draw and shoved his tackle in
> there under the tickets. Unfortunately, the pulchritudinous Miss Jarpie
> didn't show, and Mike was left standing there on stage in front of the
> guests, with his crown jewels stuck in a box, but the not the one he
> hoped for, clearly.
>
> Anyway, into the breech stepped the elderly, but willing, Mrs President
> of the SARF and before Mike could do anything, she was across the stage
> with her hands around his pride and joy. Apparently, she jumped back
> and screamed, "There's a mouse in the box". Mikey said he wouldn't have
> minded, but she could have at least have called it a rat.
>
Ah, a variation on the old cinema popcorn box trick. Bet we don't see
that on lotto live...
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| Re: Mike Watkins [message #1005818 ] |
Tue, 09 May 2006 15:34 |
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didgerman wrote:
> Martyn W wrote:
> > didgerman wrote:
> >> Martyn W wrote:
> >>> Dave L wrote:
> >>>> "Martyn W" <ukhamlet [at] gmail.com> wrote in news:1147092856.216666.100530
> >>>> [at] i39g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
> >>>>
> >>>> Um I'm pretty sure he was captain for his first international and then
> >>>> against England at Twickers in a 25ish 12ish win which is probably the only
> >>>> time he played there because he only had a handful of caps in IIRC 1984.
> >>>> Pleasant bloke, I had a long drunken chat with him a few years back on the
> >>>> merits of the then newly formed Premier division.
> >>>>
> >>>> Dave
> >>> I was pretty well oiled myself last night, so I may have the sequence
> >>> of events wrong. He's a fit bugger, though, but the black hair is a bit
> >>> suspicious.
> >>>
> >> Surely the Assembly will make hair dye and shell suits compulsory in
> >> Wales now?
> >
> > Plus caravans, lucky heather and 26 dogs for each family.
> >
>
> Man, I need to move to Wales....
You have a VW caravanette don't you? That almost makes you a Kiwi, so
you can be defence coach.
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| Re: Mike Watkins [message #1005832 ] |
Tue, 09 May 2006 18:07 |
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Martyn W wrote:
> didgerman wrote:
>> Martyn W wrote:
>>> didgerman wrote:
>>>> Martyn W wrote:
>>>>> Dave L wrote:
>>>>>> "Martyn W" <ukhamlet [at] gmail.com> wrote in news:1147092856.216666.100530
>>>>>> [at] i39g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Um I'm pretty sure he was captain for his first international and then
>>>>>> against England at Twickers in a 25ish 12ish win which is probably the only
>>>>>> time he played there because he only had a handful of caps in IIRC 1984.
>>>>>> Pleasant bloke, I had a long drunken chat with him a few years back on the
>>>>>> merits of the then newly formed Premier division.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Dave
>>>>> I was pretty well oiled myself last night, so I may have the sequence
>>>>> of events wrong. He's a fit bugger, though, but the black hair is a bit
>>>>> suspicious.
>>>>>
>>>> Surely the Assembly will make hair dye and shell suits compulsory in
>>>> Wales now?
>>> Plus caravans, lucky heather and 26 dogs for each family.
>>>
>> Man, I need to move to Wales....
>
> You have a VW caravanette don't you? That almost makes you a Kiwi, so
> you can be defence coach.
>
You find an executive pie van and I'm there....
Caravanette? That's not the term we use. Mine is a 'bay'.
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