| Re: My Left Foot [message #1088965 ] |
Thu, 20 July 2006 14:04 |
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Whilst being taken roughly from behind, Vicky Conlan squealed:
>>I'm as healthy as a fucking horse. Except for the mental scars left by
>>a certain exgf. Do those count?
>
> I bet UKSF can give you mental scars that will make you forget all about
> your mental scars from your exgf.
Actually, that'll be http://www.bennunn.com/images/btnpierced.jpg, BYPS.
--
Kullrad (4)
UKSF Best New Poster 2003
"Er, I think you'll find it's the Year of the Brummiecunt this time.
Yam Ki Pa Tai." - Joe Horowitz
Winamp is spewing forth: Lostprophets - Sway
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| Re: My Left Foot [message #1088970 ] |
Thu, 20 July 2006 14:15 |
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In article <Xns980684ED6C639192137 [at] 130.133.1.18>,
kullradNOSPAM [at] kullrad.com says...
> Whilst being taken roughly from behind, Vicky Conlan squealed:
>
> >>I'm as healthy as a fucking horse. Except for the mental scars left by
> >>a certain exgf. Do those count?
> >
> > I bet UKSF can give you mental scars that will make you forget all about
> > your mental scars from your exgf.
>
> Actually, that'll be http://www.bennunn.com/images/btnpierced.jpg, BYPS.
>
Or what about those mental images I was giving you yestersay, eh? ;-)
M
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| Re: My Left Foot [message #1088972 ] |
Thu, 20 July 2006 14:20 |
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Whilst being taken roughly from behind, Martin squealed:
>> >>I'm as healthy as a fucking horse. Except for the mental scars left
>> >>by a certain exgf. Do those count?
>> >
>> > I bet UKSF can give you mental scars that will make you forget all
>> > about your mental scars from your exgf.
>>
>> Actually, that'll be http://www.bennunn.com/images/btnpierced.jpg,
>> BYPS.
>>
> Or what about those mental images I was giving you yestersay, eh? ;-)
What about theAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!111!!!one!!11!!11!!!!!
You cunt.
--
Kullrad (4)
UKSF Best New Poster 2003
"Er, I think you'll find it's the Year of the Brummiecunt this time.
Yam Ki Pa Tai." - Joe Horowitz
Winamp is spewing forth: Lostprophets - Everyday Combat
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| Re: My Left Foot [message #1088978 ] |
Thu, 20 July 2006 15:14 |
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"Osbourne Ruddock" <strikeboy [at] hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:Xns980675A05C193strikeboyhotmailcom [at] 130.133.1.4...
>
> Monged feet and legs are the in thing in UKSF this year Ben.
>
> Congrat's for coming on board.
Will I get to have a relationship now then?
BTN
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| Re: My Left Foot [message #1088979 ] |
Thu, 20 July 2006 15:18 |
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Whilst being taken roughly from behind, Sir Benjamin Nunn squealed:
>> Monged feet and legs are the in thing in UKSF this year Ben.
>>
>> Congrat's for coming on board.
>
> Will I get to have a relationship now then?
Don't be fucking stupid.
--
Kullrad (4)
UKSF Best New Poster 2003
"Er, I think you'll find it's the Year of the Brummiecunt this time.
Yam Ki Pa Tai." - Joe Horowitz
Winamp is spewing forth: Lostprophets - To Hell We Ride
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| Re: My Left Foot [message #1088980 ] |
Thu, 20 July 2006 16:17 |
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Post removed (X-No-Archive: yes)
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| Re: My Left Foot [message #1088981 ] |
Thu, 20 July 2006 16:18 |
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Post removed (X-No-Archive: yes)
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| Re: My Left Foot [message #1088982 ] |
Thu, 20 July 2006 16:35 |
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On Thu, 20 Jul 2006 08:38:26 +0000 (UTC), comps [at] riffraff.plig.net
(Vicky Conlan) wrote:
>According to <dat_004 [at] yahoo.co.uk>:
>>>FFS. Severed Ligaments.
>><snip tale of disabled man almost scoring>
>
>Heh. This is /Ben/ we're talking about.
Exactly. Hence the proximity to sealing the deal.
Were it Oscar "Hmm"ing in that manner I might think that he was trying
to recall a popular tune. But Ben!?
If that shave was any closer he'd be bleeding (accompanied possibly).
--
Dat
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| Re: My Left Foot [message #1088988 ] |
Thu, 20 July 2006 17:28 |
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On Thu, 20 Jul 2006 20:17:53 +1000, Demosthenes
<demosthenes [at] theonering.net> wrote:
>On 20 Jul 2006 10:14:20 GMT, Kullrad <kullradNOSPAM [at] kullrad.com>
>wrote:
>>>>It's not like she fucked off with you best mate, is it?
>>>
>>> The lead from one of my fave local bands that I introduced her to.
>>Ah, wounder, mate :-(
>
>Yeah, I fucking hate that I can't go see them now. Fuck and fuck.
Pah, going out is too much trouble anyway. Here's the solution...
View this http://tinyurl.com/je2x2 whilst listening to their cd. If
you like you can drink a warm VB and throw a full ashtray over your
head. It'll be just like being there, only better, not to mention
better. Money back guarantee.
--
Dat
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| Re: My Left Foot [message #1088998 ] |
Thu, 20 July 2006 22:49 |
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"Sir Benjamin Nunn" <bennunn [at] depro.co.uk> wrote in news:4i9dt1F2pui8U1
[at] individual.net:
>> Monged feet and legs are the in thing in UKSF this year Ben.
>>
>> Congrat's for coming on board.
>
>
> Will I get to have a relationship now then?
>
Didn't you say they were already eyeing you up in Wetherspoons?
It's happening already!!1studmuffin!1oneLol!
--
Cheers, Os
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| Re: My Left Foot [message #1088999 ] |
Thu, 20 July 2006 22:59 |
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Demosthenes <demosthenes [at] theonering.net> wrote in
news:vtkub2t4j854hr6fn9arcm4dg3bqkagkc3 [at] 4ax.com:
>>> agony, given my already-high pain threshold. Codeine
>>> painkillers'n'shit.
>>
>>Monged feet and legs are the in thing in UKSF this year Ben.
>
> I'm as healthy as a fucking horse. Except for the mental scars left by
> a certain exgf. Do those count?
>
All our scars count Demo. As we travel through life each little hurt,
each little scar, every setback, betrayal and injustice crafts itself
upon our very being to make us who we are today.
Thank the jerks and the fascists and the preachers and the paedo's, the
GYsL and the ex-GF's. Without them you wouldn't be the fine figure of a
man you are today.
\m/
--
Cheers, Os
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| Re: My Left Foot [message #1089000 ] |
Thu, 20 July 2006 23:00 |
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Kullrad <kullradNOSPAM [at] kullrad.com> wrote in news:Xns98066E18ACB9C192137 [at]
130.133.1.18:
>> Monged feet and legs are the in thing in UKSF this year Ben.
>
> Yeah, I nearly busted my toe playing 5-a-side a few weeks back.
>
> I'm so 'with it' as the kids these days say.
>
You be housin' dog.
--
Cheers, Os
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| Re: My Left Foot [message #1089001 ] |
Thu, 20 July 2006 23:01 |
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comps [at] riffraff.plig.net (Vicky Conlan) wrote in news:e9nqop$2rng$8
[at] magenta.plig.net:
>>
>>No worries Mart, if it's any consolation my balls hurt occasionally.
>
> Is it typically whilst reading UKSF?
>
Well, ITWTCITD, then yes.
--
Cheers, Os
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| Re: My Left Foot [message #1089002 ] |
Thu, 20 July 2006 23:03 |
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comps [at] riffraff.plig.net (Vicky Conlan) wrote in news:e9nqna$2rng$6
[at] magenta.plig.net:
> To be fair, if he had terminal cancer that was only "a bit of back ache"
> amount of pain, that doesn't sound as impressively scary as cancer is
> normally portrayed to be.
Yes it was a bit more than that but was never diagnosed as cancer until
right at the end. It was always just presumed he had a bad back.
--
Cheers, Os
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| Re: My Left Foot [message #1089007 ] |
Fri, 21 July 2006 01:09 |
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Post removed (X-No-Archive: yes)
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| Re: My Left Foot [message #1089008 ] |
Fri, 21 July 2006 01:09 |
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Post removed (X-No-Archive: yes)
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| Re: My Left Foot [message #1089016 ] |
Fri, 21 July 2006 01:32 |
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"Demosthenes" <demosthenes [at] theonering.net> wrote in message
news:n24vb2lb4f4hcl97poqvff3l15e3533ofm [at] 4ax.com...
> He's allergic to tomatoes, too. I need to take a course in being a
> cunt. Damnit, where's mikey when you need him?
I _could_ teach you a certain level of cuntiness but, in truth, you
really have to be born with it. Not everyone can be as much of
a cunt as I am, you know.
--
Mike
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| Re: My Left Foot [message #1089017 ] |
Fri, 21 July 2006 01:34 |
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"Kullrad" <kullradNOSPAM [at] kullrad.com> wrote in message
news:Xns980684ED6C639192137 [at] 130.133.1.18...
>> I bet UKSF can give you mental scars that will make you forget all about
>> your mental scars from your exgf.
>
> Actually, that'll be http://www.bennunn.com/images/btnpierced.jpg, BYPS.
I don't get why people pretend that btnpierced is some sort of
ugly, mind-destroying device that makes people wish they were
blind in a transparent effort to make themselves seem really
cynical and heterosexual
It's really quite beautiful.
--
Mike
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| Re: My Left Foot [message #1089024 ] |
Fri, 21 July 2006 11:08 |
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According to <superman [at] xxblockxxuksf.org.uk>:
>>> I bet UKSF can give you mental scars that will make you forget all about
>>> your mental scars from your exgf.
>>
>> Actually, that'll be http://www.bennunn.com/images/btnpierced.jpg, BYPS.
>
>I don't get why people pretend that btnpierced is some sort of
>ugly, mind-destroying device that makes people wish they were
>blind in a transparent effort to make themselves seem really
>cynical and heterosexual
>
>It's really quite beautiful.
It's the beauty of it that is the real mental-scar-former, obv
--
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| Re: My Left Foot [message #1089032 ] |
Fri, 21 July 2006 19:08 |
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On Wed, 19 Jul 2006 20:33:10 +0100, "Sir Benjamin Nunn"
<bennunn [at] depro.co.uk> wrote:
>FFS. Severed Ligaments.
Holy crippled feet, Batman. That's awful, Ben. Get well soon. :(
>I spent my morning in A & E, and my afternoon in the pub, with people being
>nice to me.
Liar.
--
http://futuremd.blogspot.com/
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| Re: My Left Foot [message #1089044 ] |
Sat, 22 July 2006 05:33 |
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On Thu, 20 Jul 2006 23:09:58 GMT, Paul Blarmy <foxesfan [at] trashmail.net>
wrote:
>My right arm has a sort of hairless patch. Should I be worried?
If you weren't already worried you wouldn't have mentioned it.
That's ok though. UKSF is the place more people should turn to to have
their deepest, darkest fears assuaged.
For what it's worth, nearly all of us have a similarly hairless patch
on our right arms. Most of us have them on our left arms too. We just
call them our elbows and forget about it.
Next.
--
Dat
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| Re: My Left Foot [message #1089053 ] |
Sat, 22 July 2006 13:27 |
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Dat <dat_004 [at] yahoo.co.uk> wrote in
news:8463c2hn258fntlk4qaq4pfd25as8rnncg [at] 4ax.com:
>>My right arm has a sort of hairless patch. Should I be worried?
>
> If you weren't already worried you wouldn't have mentioned it.
>
> That's ok though. UKSF is the place more people should turn to to have
> their deepest, darkest fears assuaged.
>
Nope, I reckon Blarmy's fucked Dat. Poor bastard. The left side of his
back will develop a 'twinge' in the next few weeks.
It's horrible.
--
Cheers, Os
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| Re: My Left Foot [message #1089058 ] |
Sat, 22 July 2006 17:24 |
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On 22 Jul 2006 11:27:03 GMT, Osbourne Ruddock <strikeboy [at] hotmail.com>
wrote:
>>>My right arm has a sort of hairless patch. Should I be worried?
>>
>> If you weren't already worried you wouldn't have mentioned it.
>>
>> That's ok though. UKSF is the place more people should turn to to have
>> their deepest, darkest fears assuaged.
>
>Nope, I reckon Blarmy's fucked Dat. Poor bastard. The left side of his
>back will develop a 'twinge' in the next few weeks.
Well duh! I was trying to spare him any further anguish in his last
few days. It's called bedside manners, Os. You should try it sometime.
>It's horrible.
Bloody oath it is....oh wait, are you talking about letting the cat
out of the bag or your incorrect diagnosis?
What the fuck...
Sorry you had to find out like this, Paul....well, sorry you found out
at all tbh. Now that you're expecting the worst though, you may as
well have the whole story so that you can put your affairs in order.
The development of a hairless patch, particularly upon the right arm,
is symptomatic of the advanced stages of testicular cancer. It's a
tricky little bugger the ol' ball rot. Were your love spuds to swell
up suddenly or to cause sudden unbearable pain there's no doubt that
you'd overcome your embarrassment sooner or later and seek
professional advice. This is the last thing bollock borers want.
Even a part-time, drive-thru, witch doctor would have little
difficulty in recognizing the problem, and Mr Testicular Cancer would
soon find himself and the comfy nuts he inhabits lying in the bottom
of a bin....or in a curry. Makes no difference to him. He doesn't wish
to be in either as he's quite content devouring all your precious
newly born spunk, much like Kully would be if the opportunity to wait
underneath arrived, for as long as he can.
No, what our old pal TC does is hide until the very last minute when
he's sucked all the goodness from your core, at which time, in an
often vain attempt to find another host[1], he causes your scrotum to
explode with a force not dissimilar to an erupting volcano and flees
the scene of his crime. Mostly he just lands harmlessly on walls and
floors and the like...god forbid anyone else has to witness what it
looks like when his exit strategy occurs inside a vehicle....but if I
were you....not that it'll matter much to you considering the
circumstances, but you may wish to warn your friends...I wouldn't be
in any hurry to breathe until I'd been properly disinfected and would
rather eat my own family jewels than touch the mess with bare skin.
Anyway. I'm sure you're wondering how TC and a bald patch on your arm
are connected. As you know, cancer is a living and growing organism.
All living organisms develop waste. Basically what your nasty visitor
is doing is eating himself out of house and home, that being your
goolies in this particular instance. Being the master at covert
operations that he is, he's hardly likely to dump truckloads of your
discarded spunk factories right next to the centre of operations (as
per earlier), so to remain concealed for as long as possible, the
cunning little bugger (s...that's right, you're probably harbouring
billions of 'em at this point) uses your own bloodstream to do a bit
of illegal dumping. The location varies from one doomed fucker to the
next depending on strength of bloodflow. If it's any consolation
your's isn't all that great so you probably wouldn't have had long on
this earth despite your uninvited guest. Most blokes are usually
capable of pumping the cancerous shit at least as far as their head
before it begins to accumulate and kill the hair follicles.
So there you have it in a nutshell (Sorry). If knowledge is indeed
power, then you'd best be making use of yours asap. It would, for
example, be inadvisable to save it up just in case you might possibly
get the call to participate in a quiz show anytime after 3:35pm on
Tuesday.
[1]Your manmarble muncher is one of your old skool diseases. It
doesn't know the first thing about sexual transmissions. It's not a
stick shift kinda guy at all. Best guess is that it's been around
since the time of the dinosaurs (ie. before ghey was invented) and
thought that camping out in a hostile vadge to ambush another
testosterone fueled torpedo was a mug's game. It is most commonly
acquired by inhaling farts from an infected carrier in at least the
third stage, aka terminus[2]. This would explain the increased levels
of methane and hydrogen sulphide found in deep ice core samples that
coincide with all mass extinction events.
[2]Yes, that is the technical term for the end of the line. Before
stage three it may still be treated by total amputation. After...it's
all over red rover.
--
Dat
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| Re: My Left Foot [message #1089059 ] |
Sat, 22 July 2006 17:34 |
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Post removed (X-No-Archive: yes)
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| Re: My Left Foot [message #1089060 ] |
Sat, 22 July 2006 17:58 |
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On Sat, 22 Jul 2006 15:34:10 GMT, Paul Blarmy <foxesfan [at] trashmail.net>
wrote:
>It sort of puts Bens little problems into perspective doesn't it.
Well yeah, so long as you don't know the real reason for ligaments
becoming severed so easily. They're not make of play doh y'know.
The old things that go bump in the night story means that his
physician expects the worst, and probably doesn't want to risk
contracting it himself. It's not so much a selfish thing as a
protecting his other patients thing. In effect he's prepared to lose
one for the greater good, and you've got to applaud him for making
that sacrifice.
--
Dat
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